I grew up in a very toxic household and was bullied at school. My depression probably started when I was around 14 years old along with the self harming!
I didn’t have the courage to go to the doctors until I was 19 which is when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and put on medication. Over the years I coped and just got on with everything!
Became a motherly figure to my disabled little sister and also cared for! During the first lockdown of 2020 I was in a toxic relationship which came to an end and I thought I was alright. Combined with a rocky relationship I have with my mum I wasn’t okay at all.
I was signed off work for 8 weeks and got to the point I quit. I’ve been unemployed since October 2020 which has also added to the stress of everything.
During the November lockdown I became quite suicidal, I was lashing out at my dad for no reason, he couldn’t understand because he’s never been in my situation. I was struggling not being able to see my little sister whose severely disabled and is in supported living or visiting friends!
One of my friends offered to become my support bubble. I stay at his twice during the lockdown and it was great, we talked, played card games and watched movies. It took my mind off everything! I was also having CBT which gave me coping mechanisms in case I feel myself getting that low again.
Christmas is also a tough time for me as my mums an alcoholic so used it as an excuse to get drunk and it ended up being a nasty time for us.
This time of year is always difficult for me but I have fallen back in love with my photography and drawing and have been able to use it as an escape!
I have started exercising again as I am repulsed by myself and take my husky for 5km walks every morning!
It’s so important to keep yourself busy so you can break out of the depressive episodes! I’m also determined now more than ever to go back to university and complete my paediatric nursing degree which I had to take some time away from.
It doesn’t matter how you get there or how long it takes, just think of how amazing you’ll feel once you get there!
Story & Photo's sent by Eleanor Hendery